Do You Love Your Disability? Or Is This Your Reality?

Some people with disabilities sometimes frame life like this:

“Living with a disability is awesome! I love dealing with inaccessibility, ableist comments, ignorance from society, flawed government programs, falling and injuring myself, countless doctor’s appointments. Honestly, it’s so much better than not having a disability. If they found a cure, I wouldn’t take it. I love being excluded, struggling with extra costs, and spending days stuck in bed. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Now, obviously, that’s sarcasm. Nobody actually loves the barriers, discrimination, or daily struggles. But sometimes, that’s the message people feel pressured to send - as if living with a disability is something we must pretend to enjoy.

Let’s be real. No one celebrates being left out of social events, fighting government programs, or dealing with falls and injuries. Pretending these things are “awesome” doesn’t help anyone. Yet, at times, that’s the message some in our community feel compelled to send - as if ignoring the struggles is somehow better.

The reality is more complex. Yes, people with disabilities can thrive, live happy lives, and achieve incredible things. But not everyone has the privilege or resources to do so. Some are trapped in poverty, rely on broken support programs, face constant discrimination, or struggle with daily pain. Not everyone has a wealthy family, a spouse with a high-paying job, or the resources to manage extra costs.

And that’s okay to say - because it’s the truth.

After all, living with a disability also means:

• Adapting and pushing through barriers
• Fighting for rights, fair treatment, and accessibility
• Advocating for better job opportunities and support programs
• Working with charities, raising awareness, or participating in drug trials
• Managing falls, bad physical days, and ableist attitudes
• Balancing relationships, family, and independence with constant challenges

It’s not all joy. It’s not all misery. It’s both.

What worries me is when only the most “successful” stories are amplified. The world sees those highlight reels and assumes that’s the full picture. Meanwhile, when someone speaks out about financial struggles or unfair disability programs, the silence is deafening.

If a wheelchair user shares airline travel issues, it gets attention - and rightly so. But if someone shares about poverty or struggling with government programs? Almost nothing. Possibly because it doesn’t fit the narrative some people are trying to send.

Every disability story matters - the joyful ones and the painful ones. Ignoring the struggles of those who don’t fit the polished image holds us back. We need to shine a light on all experiences, not just the privileged few.

The disability community is made up of many different experiences and perspectives. Each of us lives a different reality, and every story - both the good and the difficult - deserves to be heard.

👉 Here’s my call to you: listen to voices you don’t always hear. Share your story, even if it isn’t picture-perfect. And when someone else shares theirs - whether about victories or struggles - don’t dismiss it. Support it. Amplify it. Real change happens when all our stories are told.