This past year showed us sometimes life isn't fair

Well 2021 was a year of ups & downs, from the amazing support of my minivan fundraiser to the shock of experiencing the devastating loss of my sister to cancer. Unfortunately, life is so unpredictable and this year showed me that we should never take the people in our lives for granted especially family. You honestly think you have lots of time and years left and end up putting things off such as visiting family. Sadly in mid July this year is when we received news of my sister's cancer diagnosis, the second my wife and I found out tears instantly filled our eyes.

Immediately after my mom started planning a trip to the east coast where we would share driving duties and thankfully my wife was also able to come along. So a few weeks later we made the 14 hour journey out to the east coast where our only real focus was getting there to visit with my sister and family. Unfortunately the last time my wife and I visited New Brunswick was back in 2006. That's why the trip was also filled with regrets of not visiting more often but again we think we have all the time in the world when in a matter of months life can change instantly. My heart truly goes out to anyone dealing with a recent diagnosis or going through losing a loved one to cancer. It truly sucks! 

So we made the long journey to the east coast with only one thing on our minds visiting with my sister and family. The smiles we shared when we arrived were so amazing as she was extremely happy to see us as we're her pets including one special kitty. My sister also wanted us to treat it like a vacation and though she couldn't join us, loved seeing the photos of us out enjoying what New Brunswick has to offer. We also enjoyed spending time with my nephew and niece as well as with my brother-in-law. It made me wish I'd spent more time with them over the years. But as we all know sometimes we let distance get in the way.

So it was great to be there spending time with her and the family also to reminisce about the few years we all lived in New Brunswick together as kids. But still even with that our main focus was my sister and unfortunately the week flew by quickly and the next thing you know is we're heading home. With plans of visiting again next summer as my sister was determined to beat cancer but sadly ended up passing away 3 months later a few days before my birthday. Again the tears started flowing immediately after my mom had given me the heartbreaking news. The type of crying that causes your throat to hurt. Though I was thankful my mom & brother were already there visiting with her while in palliative care before she passed and I am sure she was glad they were there.

Though I was feeling pretty frustrated that I was unable to be there as unfortunately my current stage of progression with Becker Muscular Dystrophy creates so many problems for me especially with inaccessibility. My physical issues are just too much these days. My other sister looked to see if we could fly down together but I couldn't join her resulting from my physical difficulties as well as due to planes not being set up to handle the unique needs of people with physical disabilities. But I know my family knew I wished I could have been there understanding the physical difficulties I would have faced. 

I am just so glad we got to spend time with my sister over the summer, a truly memorable time which meant so much to me and her as well. We all thought we'd have another opportunity to visit once she was all better but that didn't happen and is why I tell everyone don't let small things keep you from your family. If the distance is too far to travel then stay in touch with frequent phone or even zoom calls. As none of us know how much time we really have. In the end I am glad we had an opportunity to visit and I know she also enjoyed knowing we were doing our best to see the sights trying to enjoy our visit but when it comes down to it our only real focus was being there with her and the family. 

We will all miss my sister and are left in shock that this happened. But part of getting older is understanding that life isn't fair and unexpected things can happen and our only option is to keep going with peace coming to those of us who believe in heaven knowing we will see her again one day. 

We certainly hoped our visit was just the first of many to come but 2021 reminded us of how fragile life can be. That's why I say never take family for granted, be there for each other if possible, don't let shyness or distance keep you away because none of us really know how much time we have. 

This is how I will remember my sister: 

"She was truly an amazing sister, a kind and caring woman of God who loved the Lord with all her heart. So many great memories of growing up together. My heart is broken and my thoughts are with my mom and the entire family."