Rethinking Relationships: The Dangers of Prioritizing Personal Gain Over Genuine Connection

These days, people are being taught to prioritize relationships based on what they can gain. The message is clear: if you want to be rich, surround yourself with the wealthy and exclude the poor. If you want success, associate only with successful people and disregard those struggling. It promotes the idea that the rich and popular have more value, reinforcing a culture of exclusion, even in a time when inclusion is widely preached.

Insecurity often drives people toward those who give them attention, but the underlying message seems to be about using others - choosing connections based on personal benefit rather than genuine relationships. Social media reflects this mindset, where people are drawn to influencers with large followings, prioritizing collaborations and invitations based on numbers rather than meaningful connections. In a way, it's like the "one percent" of social media, where only those at the top are valued, and those with smaller followings or less perceived success are overlooked.

While it’s true that we can’t prioritize everyone in life, we should never exclude or devalue people based on what they have, don’t have, or can offer us. Life shouldn’t be about using people. True friendship doesn’t categorize or rank people based on status, wealth, or influence.

I want to make it clear that this post isn’t directed at any of my current or past friends. It’s simply a reaction to what I’ve observed on social media and even in some churches. It’s disheartening to see this kind of exclusionary mindset being promoted.

If you attend church and genuinely believe in this way of thinking, it contradicts the core principles of the gospel. After all, doesn’t the Bible emphasize helping the poor and needy? Yet, modern-day Christianity often seems more focused on personal gain - teaching people how to "live their best life," chasing money, seeking self-praise, and being told how great they are. Many attend not to give, but to see what they can get.

I truly believe that, no matter the setting, we need to move away from this self-centered mindset, as it goes against the idea of true inclusivity.